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Cake day: August 2nd, 2025

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  • “Finally! I’ve finished my kill-bot. Come, gather round, as I unveil it to the world”

    “But Professor Killington”

    “Yes, adorable, one-legged, orphan Timmy?”

    “Why did you make a kill-bot?”

    “Well, so it would indiscriminately murder anything and everything that moves, of course”

    “But professor, that sounds dangerous”

    “Don’t be a fucking retard Timmy. I know what I’m doing”

    “O-okay Professor”

    “Now everyone gather round as I turn on the killbot for the very first time, and be amazed as it makes me pancakes”

    flips switch

    “OH NO, STOP, STOP, STOP KILLING ME, KILL-BOT OH MY GOD, MY SPLEEN, OH, IF ONLY SOMEBODY COULD HAVE FORRSEEN THIS TERRIBLE TURN OF EVENTS”.