tucson.social
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • Create Community
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
Stamets@startrek.website to Memes@lemmy.ml ·
edit-2
2 years ago

I've got so much that diarrhea filters into clean drinking water

startrek.website

message-square
27
link
fedilink
787

I've got so much that diarrhea filters into clean drinking water

startrek.website

Stamets@startrek.website to Memes@lemmy.ml ·
edit-2
2 years ago
message-square
27
link
fedilink
alert-triangle
You must log in or register to comment.
  • AllBlue22@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    66
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    2 years ago

    Let me tell you about my American dream. Imagine if you will, every shit you take is a one whiper. Horrid diarrhea, one whiper, constipated shit tail that barely drops, one whiper, even your average everyday shit, a one whiper! Now imagine a welcome to your porcelain throne, a lid raising to greet you, a relaxing night nightlight, a preheated seat and even a pre-cleaning spray to ensure your shit doesn’t stick to the bowl… No more imagining, this is no longer a dream, this is in fact a top of the line Toto bidet brought to you by our friends from Japan. It’s time to invest, you deserve to have your hole automatically cleaned by a gentle heated oscillating spray and then dried with a nice warm blow. Leaving only one whipe for you to finish the drying process and to see for yourself, the magesty of a clean post whipe 3 sheets of toilet paper.

    • Jamie@jamie.moe
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      30
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      2 years ago

      This guy shits

      • ekky43@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        18
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        2 years ago

        That’s just standard equipment for professional shitposters.

  • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    32
    ·
    2 years ago

    If you have that much ass hair, does using a bidet technically count as doing laundry? 🤔

    • PeWu@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      9
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      2 years ago

      Thoughts with the deep

    • garden_boi@feddit.de
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      2 years ago

      Yes, yes it does.

  • Psaldorn@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    26
    ·
    2 years ago

    That title 🤌

    • saltynuts420@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      2 years ago

      ☠️

  • MonsiuerPatEBrown@reddthat.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    14
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    2 years ago

    more of a shitpost than a meme

    • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      2 years ago

      deleted by creator

  • FastWarfarin@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    2 years ago

    The heading made me laugh so hard

  • Dasnap@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    2 years ago

    You mean free floss?

  • kittenbridgeasteroid@discuss.tchncs.de
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    2 years ago

    LPT: Thongs are the cure for swamp-ass. If you can, get some wool ones.

    • Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      2 years ago

      Wool thongs? Where? I just bought some… idk Rayon? Tencel?

      • kittenbridgeasteroid@discuss.tchncs.de
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        2 years ago

        I had to get them custom made on Etsy. $45ish each, but 100% worth it. I highly advise against most synthetic fabrics, though.

        I have some micromodal ones that are nice, but nothing performs like wool. I’ll take them off at the end of the day and they’ll be wet from sweat, but my skin is dry.

        And that’s saying something, because I have hyperhydrosis.

        • Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          edit-2
          2 years ago

          Interesting. I already have a love for wool, perhaps I will be following down your same path.

          Also thank you for sharing and then going into detail!

    • Stamets@startrek.websiteOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      2 years ago

      Jockstraps too.

      • kittenbridgeasteroid@discuss.tchncs.de
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        2 years ago

        Jockstraps don’t go in your butt crack, though. Thongs act like a sweat wick.

        • Stamets@startrek.websiteOP
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          5
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          2 years ago

          Jockstraps provide the desperate breeze that my rainforest ass needs

  • tym@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    2 years ago

    …like peanut butter in the carpet

  • BlanketsWithSmallpox@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    2 years ago

    Buy a bidet that’s $200 or more. Especially if you’re a functioning alcoholic. It’ll change your drinking shits game.

  • The Giant Korean@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    2 years ago

    Be sure to shampoo and condition it properly. No one likes a messy ass of hair.

  • CassowaryTom@lemmy.one
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    2 years ago

    I was plenty awkward, but ass hair? At 12?

  • Omgarm@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    2 years ago

    Keeps your ass warm when streaking after having a few to many drinks!

  • Archibald@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    2 years ago

    Ass hair is fine but nose hair!!!

  • nudny ekscentryk@szmer.info
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    arrow-down
    6
    ·
    2 years ago

    flushable wet wipes is a new, life-changing discovery to me

    • SuiXi3D@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      2 years ago

      A cheap bidet is like, thirty bucks?

    • aesopjah@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      2 years ago

      Bitet instead. Those wipes are okay occasionally or while traveling

Memes@lemmy.ml

memes@lemmy.ml

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !memes@lemmy.ml

Rules:

  1. Be civil and nice.
  2. Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.
Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 248 users / day
  • 2.9K users / week
  • 5.97K users / month
  • 20.6K users / 6 months
  • 1 local subscriber
  • 51K subscribers
  • 12.2K Posts
  • 210K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • ghost_laptop@lemmy.ml
  • sexy_peach@feddit.de
  • Cyclohexane@lemmy.ml
  • Arthur Besse@lemmy.ml
  • BE: 0.19.11
  • Modlog
  • Legal
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org