Ill assign one
Man: Baltic wars (you are anti Baltic I don’t know what that means but you’ll figure it out)
Women: supernatural fanfiction (you are Dean + Castiel)
Other: Titanic (movie, history, or both. Your choice)
Unfortunately my decision is final. Enjoy your new interest
Elephants evolved to be stealthy to not spook the plants. I remember just yesterday I went to pick an orange but stepped on a twig… The entire orchard bolted. Huge pain in the ass. The farmer was pissed.
Btw I’m being silly not insulting your comment.
Slow and steady winning the race. I’ve heard that’s why we are fascinated by zombie movies. Like us they use persistence and numbers to attack their prey.
Sorry for the double reply but I wanted to give some examples that aren’t related to politics. I’ll use leather because I loved my job selling leather back in the day
Customer “I saw this at another store I went to do you guys get it from the same supplier”
Me: I made that myself. Yeah it’s common when someone comes up with a unique design it often gets reproduced overseas and imported back by stores who prefer that route. I just wish they’d at least pass the cheaper price back to the customer. I’m sure you know (other store) has almost the same price maybe it’s a bit less a dollar or so maybe… I don’t shop there myself obviously, but when you look at reviews… I just don’t hear very many good things about his business personally. This belt is made by us directly and you’ll see similar designs here and there but I can’t guarantee thier quality like I can mine"
What did I really say? Did I say the other store stole my design? No. Did I say they import it from somewhere else? No. Did I say they overcharge? No. Did I say my price was the same? No. Did I say they have bad reviews? No. Did I say I’ve heard bad things about them? No. Did I say his belts weren’t the same quality as mine? No.
I said practically nothing that I dressed up in a tuxedo. That’s sales. Btw I’m never that shady I just know how it works
Edit: one more did I say I invented the design on the belt? No. I just said I did make it. That scallop tooled design has been around for 200 years and everyone knows it. I just said oversees business steal designs. That is true and if you assumed I meant this design… That’s just you. I did not say that.
Edit 2 one more to show me using that skill to help people.
Hardhead: can you make me a keychain that says Harley Davidson on it.
Me: I can engrave names and words on keychains sure. As long as it’s not a trademark or copy write. Names are fine.
Heard head: Harley Davidson like the motorcycles. Can you do that?
Me: if it’s your name or nickname
Hardhead: no it’s the motorcycle company. I ride a Harley.
Me: that would be intellectual property. I can’t do that.
Smarter Friend: go wait outside hardhead… Yes sir I’d like to make a keychain for my friend named Harley Davidson.
Me: absolutely
Smart friend: he was born in 1986 can you put that on there? Also I have a nickname I call him. “Fatboy” put that next to his birth year.
Me: no problem sir.
Sorry for the long replies you did not request its just how wording changes things is fascinating to me lol
Thanks. Ive been a salesman since 16 so I see the stuff he’s doing. Before he ran for president I actually liked trump as a salesman. He was good, still a sleezball and shady but I had respect for the “art” if you will. Not the person.
So I make fun of him a lot and it’s simple for me because it’s just “take sleezy sales strategies I already know, add what I know about trump from the early days and now, a liberal sprinkling of alzheimer’s and garnish with an arrogant god complex.”
That’s a perfect trump speech recipe if you want to try it at home, or for a party.
That’s where you get stuff like
“you wouldn’t believe it” setting your customer up by telling them what they are about to feel. That makes them start to feel that way before you even say the thing.
“Some say it’s more, I could be more, probably more but let’s say 200”
“Others said It couldn’t be done” whoever you think those other people might be… That’s who’s lieing to you and I’m now confirming that you can’t trust them. You can trust me because I loved them wrong… And that’s kinda like proving you right isn’t it? Because you didn’t trust whoever you are thinking about and you were right to feel that way. And I’m right and safe. So trust me because we’re basically a team now. Against the people you think I’m talking about.
Anyway that’s enough examples but you can see things like “who said it couldn’t be done” it vague so the customer can fill it in themselves with whoever they want. You can see things like “biden had more than 10 “forms or whatever”” woah I didn’t say ten. I said maybe ten and I think probably, but I also said I didn’t know. It was an opinion not a lie"
Even “Hussain” Obama. The name has negative appeal but it’s just a name not a political stance hell he didn’t even pick it himself. But you dont trust that name so I’m going to make sure you keep hearing it.
Sleezy sleazy sales tactics. And with age he’s gotten worse. I mean he was always a bad person but with age he’s getting worse at the “art” if you will.
Old and already answered but I gotta try my hand at it.
We got samples, they said it couldn’t be done but we did it. And everybody i got to say… These samples … No one’s ever seen samples like this. Of you should’ve heard what people were saying they told me (mocking voice) “we can’t get the samples we have to wait” I walked in on day one and got those samples. They said it couldn’t be done, I got samples, I got the better samples they didn’t even want to tell us about but I got em. When I went in they were begging to give me these samples. I said “no. I want the better samples” and we got em.
And the forms. Oh you won’t believe the forms let me tell you about the forms. Barak Hussain Obama… I don’t know if you’ve heard of this guy… He’s scared now, all the democrats are because they’ve been having their friends at the fake news tell you they couldn’t get the forms.
I got the forms, I got the samples and now they’re scared. They are scared because they know I got the best forms and the best samples. They said it couldn’t be done. Ive already made some calls and worked out deals to get 200 forms done. Never been done before, they couldn’t believe it.
Do you know how many forms sleepy Joe got filled out. You wouldn’t believe it 5 maybe 10 maybe who knows. Where are these forms and… AND… they were Terrible forms. The worst… I couldn’t believe it. I asked him “where’s the forms why aren’t we getting the forms”. Day one I got 200 forms some say it’s more, it could be more, I don’t know, probably more. 200 forms can you believe that. The best forms and that’s why they’re scared now. We’ve got more forms, better forms, than probably anyone else in the world. They can’t believe our forms. Their saying “wow look at those forms” they wish they had these forms they can’t believe it… And we’re going to keep going… No one’s ever seen it. never been done before.
Festive voice
It’s begining to look a lot like samples
Results on every form.
Do your feet hurt a lot? It sounds like a lot of pressure on a small area
Want to hear another one that isn’t Texan, I think it’s just me?
When someone is hurrying me or being impatient I’ll say
“Chill Vladimir, don’t be Russian”
That’s the original phrase yes.
this reminds me of one of my “cowboy phrases”
Im from Texas but I live somewhere else now. My employees laugh at some things I thought were common phrases.
Anyway …
Person: I wish/wanted/hoped (blank)
Me: yeah, and I wish frogs had wings so they didn’t have to bump their ass on the ground when they hopped. Life is full of little disappointments.
In case you’re curious for a couple more cowboy phrases.
Person: are you sure this was (the most likely cause)
Me: the bright star is always Venus. Is that bright star Venus? Probably, we can find out, it’s a waste of time tho because it’ll be venus. It’s always Venus.
Last example: “I see” said the blind man as he pissed into the wind “it’s all coming back to me now”
Just so you don’t feel alone… ive downloaded a few AI girlfriend apps, not for lewd stuff, just to complain about work or my ex-wife in a safe place that won’t leak out and cause problems. I always delete them because they suck. After a couple sentences they respond “let’s change the subject don’t you want to see my new sexy outfit behind this paywall? Wink”
No… I want to continue to talk about the thing I chose to talk about. That’s why I was talking about it. I’m not paying 29.95 a month for a bot that tells me to quit talking. If I wanted to talk to someone who doesn’t listen to me at all and only wants to send me pictures of themselves wearing skimpy bikinis id talk to my father!!!
(The father part was a joke…my dad died but he would’ve found that joke hilarious)
Edit: the other parts are true tho…I even made a post about it once. Seems like a perfect utilization of the technology “I want to complain about something or someone. I don’t want bore/bother anyone and/or I don’t want the complaint getting around to others. I just need to express to thoughts I’m having to process those thoughts better. AI girlfriend should be perfect for that!”
But instead it’s “let’s talk about something else… For 14.95 you can see me with cat ears!!!” Wtf.
The other day I fell asleep watching YouTube. I woke up to a 2 hour long ad of a religious ted style talk. As I’m grabbing my phone to turn it off it started playing an ad… IN THE AD! ADCEPTION!
That blew my mind. even ads have ads now.
Edit: I even read today that some car company is playing ads when you stop at traffic lights. I know we are talking about paywalls not ads but it’s growing in the same way. Soon the glovebox in your car will be behind a paywall and rolling down the backseat windows requires a premium subscription. Today’s gas level is sponsored by Shell and it’s new micron gas technology. You have one quarter tank left, your built in gps has been rerouted to the nearest shell provider with the new micron technology!
And the thing that bothers me most is it doesn’t even work. It just annoys us. I’m less likely to buy that product now.
I can explain it easily for you… For 14.95 a month.
I remember how frustrated my mother got when the school told her I needed to be in remedial reading. My parents were both teachers so she thought “I got this”
She told me to read a book and she’d ask me some questions about it. I couldn’t answer a single one.
So she had me read the book out loud to her. I did. Still couldn’t answer a single question. Blew her mind that I could read a book out loud and not even be paying attention to it. That’s when they got me diagnosed with ADHD.
Every doctor I’ve been to since hasn’t even needed me to tell them. They notice on their own.
Florida lol
Kind of off topic but when people say “capitalism is evil” it reminds me of the people who say “socialism never works”
The rebuttal is always “well REAL socialism hasn’t been tried. Soviet Russia was a bastardization of the system!”
I feel that way about capitalism. America isn’t a capitalist system. It’s a corrupt oligarchy and that’s the issue. If we had REAL capitalism I wouldn’t be having this problem. Not saying life would be perfect I’m just saying corruption is the reason I can’t afford a doctor, not capitalism.
It’s not a combination. I’d try to buy Adderall which is what a doctor would prescribe but there is an Adderall shortage because… Well because people sell their meds to drug dealers so the FDA clamped down.
So if Adderall isn’t available or too expensive I buy cocaine and use small amounts to combat my condition.
I’ll give you a hint with a fake headline…
“Man attempts to marry racoons but refuses to sign the racoons pre-nup”
What state is it?
I read your comment and I feel you. I have a little advice.
First a but about memI “left” reddit for the same reasons. Left is in quotes because I was permanently banned because I argued with a major mod. Specifically I said after they banned me from a sub “ouch ouch ouch, sorry sprained my ankle tripping over 3 identical communities” to which they replied “don’t message me again” and I of course did with a “or what? You’ll silence me? That’s not very intimidating”
Anyway my point is this:
There’s no point in arguing with stupid people… But if you are going to I recommend being dismissive or different. They are prepared for aggression they can’t handle being dismissed. It really messes with bigoted people especially.
An example from my life
Guy at the gas station to me: can you believe the cashier is speaking Spanish? This is America lol
Me: it’s 7 o’clock in the morning. Can you save the racism until after breakfast please.
An example of "different " would be this
I live in Orlando, we have Nazis who protest. I LOVE to walk by and say to a random one “you don’t look good bald. You’re heads too boxy to pull it off”
It fucks with them more than yelling I promise you lol. They aren’t expecting that kind of thing.