Uno reverse: Invite him to your country and play videos about the horrific human rights violations in the USA.

512gb of ram you say? That’s legendary 3rd chrome tab territory.

There is a added bonus here as well - some researchers will not only send the paper, but also offer to answer questions AND send other related papers.

Some academics out there are just really friendly people.

Short Answer - Universities

Long Answer:

To get and hold a job as an academic, you must continually produce “high quality research”. To get the job, in the first place, you must also be seen to do this.

“High quality” is often metriced by universities to mean “published in high impact journals” and “well cited”. This metric is known to be faulty, but universities really dislike change.

So, to get a job, you have to give up your rights to your research, and to keep your job, you have to do likewise.

Worse, in the current financial climate, academia is seeing unprecedented cuts, which further entrenches this issue.

Either that or medication!

I abandoned hope long ago when I learned that excel was turing complete.

The darkness has already consumed me, there is no salvation from this sin.

Worse - pulling data from a web page, then using the power of pure jank to parse this input, and then invoking a sheet of reference string builders to construct formulae and execute them using too damn many @indirects nested into vlookups before finally adding in date aware data reveals, because no excel abomination is complete without trying to parse dates.

Or false regret, either or.

I’ve done things in excel that are an abomination in the eyes of the divine.

I have absolutely 0 regret.

The key concept they’re missing a lot of the time is that software sits within the file system and not the other way around.

This is largely because apps hide this and data is generally stored in one place on your phone (the downloads folder).

Best way to fix it - have 1–2 lessons entirely devoted to finding shit on their computer. My favourite activity is “ok, save your word file, close word, you now have 10 mins to find that file without opening word”.

Sure are a lot of suckers making policy over in the USA at the moment…

The fastest way to do that is leave him in a room with Luigi ^_

DROP TABLE Musk

sudo rm -fr - -no-preserve-root

The magic spell that removes the woke mind virus, but only if used on the main twitter server as a high level admin user with full access.

It works and is a pile of jank - Python

It doesn’t work and is a pile of jank - C++

You violated gods laws with how bad your code is and it still runs (right through the wall) - C

Thanks for the suggestion, I’ll have a play in the new year and see if it’ll work ^_

Feel free to replace it with the remote tool of your choice. Just keep in mind that it needs to be easy to use from the supportee’s end (double click, read a code).

“Points at the smaller thing”

Every time I watch a student stall out on inequalities I ask “it’s the crocodile isn’t it?”. Without fail, they’ve got confused by it and as soon as they hear “points at the smaller thing” they have no issues.

It’s going to sound really silly but here goes:

1. Ensure their background is the same as it was (seriously, they often use it as an extra way to find things).

2. Where possible, use windows icons for desktop shortcuts and mask link names to match vocab they’re familiar with.

3. Have rustdesk set up with a link saying “Let <your name> help me”.

4. Make sure they have their password written down somewhere.

5. Make sure you have their password written down somewhere.

6. Where possible have background updating, where not possible have a .sh file to do it for them.

7. Add desktop links for things like downloads, documents and pictures.

These are tips for any distro when moving less tech savvy relatives over. For those that like to game, ensure your fs on their gaming drive is a Linux one as it stops weird behaviour. Also, you know, install the games for them!

And here we see an expert hacker at work, with just a few commands as a root user, they managed to gain root access.