The H can equally mean hyperattentive. I am diagnosed with ADHD without hyperactivity, but instead because of having the hyper focusing aspect more than constantly switching focus.

Silence, bot!

Why the fuck do we have self-cleaning ovens but not self-cleaning toilets? Everything should clean itself so we don’t have to!

Dishes. Laundry. Dinner.

My boss says 10:01 isn’t 10:00 but my friends all agree 4:29 still counts as 4:20.

You’re telling me that Ted Cruz got that way by being universally hated, and not because he is from Innsmouth?

I’m more misunderstood through text than verbal speech so I have to just assume most other people simply don’t read as well as I do.

guzzles 15 Dandelion Decoctions

I’ve been playing Minecraft again. I haven’t played since… Fuck I don’t even remember. But long enough that barely anything is familiar to me anymore. It’s like playing for the first time all over again! 😃

Like the doorbell sound or the sound of the door swooshing open? 🤔

“My name is The Plague!”

Butt milk. 🤢

The last time I felt anything for achieving something was back in 2017 when I won my first solos match of PUBG at 3 in the morning and ended up waking everyone in the house up with my triumphant shouting.

My brain totally omitted the first instance of sponge and for a moment I thought we were making sponges out of military personnel from a specific branch of the military.

I didn’t move my dog, but my dog is no longer where I left him. What sorcery is this?!

Actually, she’s a comedian. These are from a show called Cunk on <Various Subjects>, a mockumentary series.

I think I am okay with cockchafers hitting me in the face instead of chafing my cock.

or hired a ghost writer

Isn’t that the entire point of hiring a ghost writer?

Gotta always know which side of your shit is the front.

Just make them cute. 🤷🏻‍♂️