GOB’s not onboard.

I was Biden my time, but the time is Nye.

I see Calvin’s been by.

This is the kind of magazine page that 90s-kid-me would stare at for hours fantasizing over. Even looking at it now, it’s surprisingly easy for me to ignore the objective technical limitations and get hyped.

Side note: can we talk about that 1ST PC GUN on the mid-left there? Dude…

Yeah, I’m with you there.

Still my favorite Cake song and one of my go-to karaoke tracks. 😎

“Doc, are you trying to tell me that you built a time machine…out of a DeLorean?!?”

“Marty, I’m going to be honest with you. I don’t think I have my meds properly balanced yet.”

“Heavy.”

“Precisely.”

I instinctively read that in Homestar Runner’s voice.

For the people who are still alive!

“Aw, you got kids, Maniac?”

“Nah…not anymore…”

Onward, men! Full sails to the horizon! On my oath, we’ll make it to Ikeland by morning!

Oh, there will be Ikes as far as the eye can see, I tell you! Tall Ikes, short Ikes, God-fearing Ikes! Our coffers will overflow with the abundance of Ikes!

You who would doubt me, who would claim the impossibility of such a paradise, you cowards who hide from ambition and surround yourselves with the petty offerings of Steve Island or David Cove, why you would not know how to handle the Ikes of Ikeland!

But I am a man of greater mettle, and I will know this new land.

Raise the anchor. The Ikes await.

…ah-tah?

Have you seen what’s down there? It’s terrifying.

You don’t have to tell me. Deep down at the bottom of the ocean? The whole place is crawling with…capitalists.

Yeah, yeah. I know. Andrew Ryan gave us all the big, shiny speech, “sweat of your brow” and all that, but what’s he got down there now? Just a buncha junkies and opportunists running guns and peeling off all of that pretty art deco veneer.

Thanks but no thanks, Ryan.

37?!?!?

glances into mirror

Oh.

Right.

…Shit.

Hakuna oblongata.