Oh god, please don’t make me talk about myself.

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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 12th, 2023

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  • Yeah. I think there’s a problem with the modern development cycle that a fuckton of the budget goes into marketing and marketable assets (i.e. all them graphics that look great in the trailers but nobody’s computer can actually handle, and then the rest of the team’s on the hook to make a game on a shoestring that can actually use all of that content - The only way you can possibly accomplish that with a fraction of a fraction of the budget is if it’s super simplistic and repetitive gameplay that’s stretched over 40+ hours like a peasant on a torture rack.

    Think about how many games you’ve played over the last decade, and how many of them were still fun to play after the first five hours, either because the primary gameplay loops were satisfying enough to keep you engaged, or because the game was keeping it fresh with new mechanics that didn’t bungle clumsily atop one another like a raspberry and beef trifle. Making great games is difficult and expensive, and most studios would rather put out something with a guaranteed return than anything that’s fun to play.



  • The thought crossed my mind but I’ve had panic attacks like that before, some a lot more severe and in public, mostly about how “this is the best I can do and it sucks and it only gets worse from here.” Which, incidentally, ended up being mostly true due to external factors. Like I work a job I don’t hate and make decent money but it’s not enough because housing is unaffordable everywhere.

    I think I’d be doing a lot better if the entire United States weren’t staring down the barrel of yet another once-in-a-lifetime financial crisis. Like when are we ever not in crisis at this point?




  • Had a panic attack Saturday night. I was deeply consumed by the fear that everyone in my life pretends to love me in order to receive my support and I will be dropped like a hot rock the minute I fall off the hamster wheel, which will probably be sooner rather than later given the imminent collapse of the U.S. economy.

    I dunno though, it’s kind of… Comforting, in a way? I can see that the light at the end of the tunnel is actually a train but once it hits, nobody’s going to blame me for how I fell apart. Or, they will, but they’ll be wrong.




  • What kneecaps this prodpect is that the other half of the supply-demand curve simply won’t fall enough to meet American production where it will inevitably peak - far lower than that of existing overseas factories, even with the implementation of tariffs.

    I think people fail to understand that, even if investors were to somehow become obsessed with dropping factories in the states left and right, people still wouldn’t be able to outproduce China and India. Even if Americans get paid the same poor wages, the cost of production would still be too high because the cost of living is also too high, not least because we have very little HDH and everything is too spread apart with little public transportation.






  • Two inch gap between the plywood rectangle wall and door so everyone can see you taking a shit? A foot between the bottom of the door and the floor so stupid kids can pop their heads under and keep you company? Say no more, I got you covered!

    It really is impressed upon me how cheaply every public bathroom is constructed. I feel like somebody could sneeze too hard and the whole thing would jostle apart.





  • You know, the fucked up thing about it all is I was always told that the kind of delayed gratification that came from major accomplishments like a college degree, a steady career, a comfortable savings account, would all outweigh the fleeting pleasure of parties and stupid little trinkets and other such fun. I wish I had taken so much more time for myself because I burned out so hard achieving some of these things and failing to achieve others that I struggle deeply to imagine a future with me in it.

    I hope whatever youth is left in the world spends their time having fun. I hope their lives are worth living now, and that mine will be someday too.