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Cake day: December 6th, 2023

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  • I’ve read that Hitler intentionally gave government-departments overlapping authority, so that they’d be in turf-wars, so whichever one “lost” could then be shut-down…

    It wasn’t incompetence, it was intentional: a means for force-dismantling government’s function.

    IF the point of having the incapable running the different departments … is so that total-dictatorship later becomes “justified”, then it is a strategem, not a mistake.

    & differentiating between unconscious-strategems vs conscious ones …

    … as an example of unconscious-tactics, I’m now certain that Hamas’s strategem of using the lives of Palestine as bait, to get Israel to demonstrate its nihilism & sadism & narcissism & machiavellianism ( etc ) on, …

    … so that in future, the entire-region wouldn’t care what “deterrent” Israel had, … that such a huge percentage of the region’s population would be committed to annihilating Israel at ANY cost, … that Israel’s annihilation becomes inevitable…

    … was completely unconscious.

    But it is effective.

    I don’t bet ANYthing on Israel existing, as a country, by 2029, now.

    Trying to sort-out the … bucket-of-vomit, which is what geopolitics now is … with all its unconscious-strategems & insane tactics & sickening “values” …

    I’m betting that Trump will use the consequences-of-his-people’s-incompetence to “justify” greater, & more-complete, highjacking of the US of A.

    I absolutely do not believe it’ll result in the Dems regaining the US:

    that opportunity was thrown-away with the election that Biden wouldn’t get out of, until it was too late to save.

    1. differentiating the convenient-to-the-left-belief isn’t journalism, it is just more of the filter-bubble that cost the Dems the 2024 election.

    2. seeing such things not with the superiority/contempt of the left, but rather with the … how is this going to be dealt with and adapted-to by the ruling-regime, how are they going to use this to further their highjacking? would be much closer to journalism.

    3. humans are mixtures of unconsciousness & consciousness, & much of our “tactics” and “strategy” is actually just unconscious-instinct & feelings-motivated stuff, so it doesn’t matter whether it is unconscious or conscious, it doesn’t matter whether it is contempted by so-and-so, or whether some caste/class of people are condescending about it, in Natural Selection, it only matters if it works. Pay attention to if it’s viable-enough to continue taking our world down, not to what the upper-middle-class-left are saying while denigrating it.

    ( feel free to contempt everything I said here, but I’m sooo damn tired of filter-bubble making-believing substituting for the survival-stuff that humankind needs … & every mistake made by anybody can be changed in significance by circumstance,

    so the whole “they’re failing, & we’re going to be their ‘daddy’ when they do” narrative that much of the upper-middle-class left that I’ve seen is identifying in… is just more ignoring/denying, with a price-tag counted in lives later this decade.

    Pragmatism would be a good thing, now, & “it’s only a won-game when it’s completely finished” would also be good to live by. )

    _ /\ _


  • Read Kahnneman’s “Thinking Fast and Slow” ebook,

    it’s the root-understanding of EVERYTHING happening in our world, now:

    There are 2 mind-systems:

    He calls them “system 1” & “system 2”, but that requires everybody to already-know what context he’s meaning,

    which is delusional!

    I call 'em Kahneman1 & Kahneman2.

    Kahneman1-mind is imprint->reaction mind, aka ideology/prejudice/religion/programming mind.

    It is identity-tied, & it is immune-to-falsification, it is default-mind.

    Kahneman2-mind is considered reasoning mind, & it isn’t default.

    Kahneman1-mind is simply fighting-off/destroying … Kahneman2-mind’s violation of total-Kahneman1-mind dominion.

    ie ideology-with-no-thinking-left world, is what’s going to be ruling everything, in a few years.

    ( which makes this-species surviving ClimatePunctuation … unlikely,

    so The Great Filter will probably have only silence on this world, next century )

    It’s ideology.

    Reasoning’s disallowed by Kahneman1-mind.

    Any time that facts, evidence, considered-reasoning threatens to be needed, Kahneman1-mind substitutes more-convenient “answers” for the imposed questions, to prevent considered-reasoning from having any say … and right-there’s your answer.

    Their identity is anti-civil-rights, anti-“below-their-class” lives,

    THEREFORE they automatically feel-need to destroy what offends them: by existing, by presuming-validity, etc…

    Earlier-today I encountered my 1st Trump-cult “of course she isn’t qualified: she’s a woman! Trump is qualified. Trump rightly won.” prejudice…

    Anybody who can carve it in G-D’s eye that Kamala Harris is “unqualified”, after she utterly-trounced Trump in a debate, from what I’d been told, is living in imprint->reaction-mind, Kahneman1-mind, ideology/prejudice/religion/programming mind.

    There is no point in trying to reason with it.

    It’ll either succeed in exterminating all “others”, butchering-off all lives in its way,

    XOR it’ll, itself ( ideology/prejudice/“religion” exterminating considered-reasoning ) be exterminated from ruling our world.

    IF ideology/prejudice/“religion” wins, THEN there won’t be ANY humankind next century.

    IF considered-reasoning wins, THEN there won’t be any ideology/prejudice/“religion” ruling this world, anywhere, next century, & I expect that maybe even a 100 million survivors might live…

    I DON’T expect the tantrum/pogrom to be instant ( nuclear-incineration for all ), rather it’ll be a grinding war-of-attrition, as the idiotic unconscious-at-the-wheel Left continues relying on its assumed-win & its making-believing, losing country after country, & the narcissistic/machiavellian/sociopathy-psychopathy/nihilism/sadism/systemic-dishonesty ideologues keep using what they’ve gained to gain more, until finally, in … 2040 or so, total global pogrom/tantrum can get going, & keep grinding until there’s nothing left alive.

    So, I expect that between now & 2031, political opportunism & regional wars will be dominant,

    but it won’t be until the 2031-2039-ish period when the world will be carved into totalitarian empires, where ONLY ideology/prejudice/programming/“religion” exists, vs … the helpless remnants of NATO ( which Trump’ll gut before then, as he sides with Putin, his backer-for-decades )…

    So, now until 2031, political carving up the world, some limited wars, ideological butchery, extinguishment of civil-rights…

    2031 until 2039-40-ish, literally carving-up-the-world into empires ( 3 major ones, Trump-backed Russia, CCP, & Saudi ), with Modi’s Hindutva India being turned into hamburger by China, & becoming property, like all of Asia, of China’s Communist Party…

    East Europe’ll be Russian Empire property ( which’ll be just a puppet of China, tbh ),

    & Middle-East & Africa’ll be Saudi empire…

    South America? China’s been investing in highjacking it, & the US has been investing in bullying & subjugating it, so I’m assuming it’ll go with China.

    US’s Civil War Part2 should be in simmering-mode until 2031, then in WHITE-REPUBLICAN-EXTERMINATION-OF-“OTHERS” mode from then on ( which is why the 3 big-empires get to own most of the world simultaneously…

    then once the US’s butchered, all it takes is 1 calendar-convenient natural-catastrophe to hit the US, & … suddenly … it obliges ALL the enemies of the West to launch EVERYTHING THEY’VE GOT, IMMEDIATELY, which should happen in 2039 or 2040 or something… ( not before 2039, I don’t believe, could be a few years later: it’d have to be BIG, like a Canary Island being “sat on” by a cyclone/hurricane, & then when the hurricane had saturated all the rock, lubricating the interlocking-pieces-of-lava that the whole island’s made-of, then the storm’s moving SHOVES the island, until it collapses, shoving cubic-km of Atlantic at the Eastern Seaboard of North America,

    which would “chop off” the entire East Coast, “in a single hour”, to use the Christians’ bible’s term, from their Rev… )

    IF that happens, & I consider it inevitable, as we’ve multiplied the chaos-in-this-planet’s-climate significantly, so it MUST happen sooner-or-later … THEN … the military-strategic obligation of all enemies overrides everything: they MUST strike, immediately.

    That’s the beginning of the decades-long-grinding war-of-attrition that will reduce humankind by … 2 orders or magnitude? more? or extinguish our kind, completely…

    All for sake of imprint->reaction mind, for sake of ideology/prejudice/“religion”/REACTION’s ruling…

    Fighting-off considered-reasoning is what it wants, to return to the “grace” of Mere-beast-Not-responsible-No-moral-anxiety living, REACTION’S rule…

    where the alpha-bull is the alpha-bull, where cows are mere-cows, & where NO-one ever threatens animal-reaction with ANY considered-reasoning…

    That is the “heaven” that unconscious-ignorance is trying to (re-)enforce globally…


    If you haven’t spent decades studying human unconscious, that may look ludicrous, in spite of the successful-highjacking-of the US, Romania, etc…

    but the evidence that humankind’s just enacting, in glacial-slow-motion, its unconsciousness-ignorance-process, is kinda obvious, once one gets the hang of seeing it…

    Here’s an example which cuts through appearances, showing what’s really going-on, but mainstream/establishment won’t accept the evidence, & they just deem me/all who point this up to be nonvalid…

    Girls who were in girls-schools, who later end-up in mixed-schools, consistently have commented on how the always-in-mixed-schools girls were cowed, how they’d been pushed into learned-helplessness, how they wouldn’t even try to participate-as-equals in class: male-bullying had already extinguished that from their lives.

    Young-women who ended up in girls-universities have consistently commented on their initial-disappointment, then within a week or 2, their ELATION at BEING ALLOWED TO LEARN, instead of just being crushed under male-sexual-pressure…

    Women who, as girls, had their dads prohibit that there was any “women’s work” in the house, uprightly sharing in all housework, ARE having likelihood of self-employment, BUT women whose dads were unshakable that housework was “women’s work” … NEVER become entrepreneurs…

    Women who ended up successful entrepreneurs while young … don’t measure potential-mate-value through social-position/status, instead judging potential-mate-value through fitness, same as the way we guys judge potential-mates…

    so, it isn’t that women “inherently” use males to “status climb”,

    rather: women who’ve been bullied from validity all their lives, THOSE women judge partner-value by their “status”, whereas women who’ve been honestly/acutally ALLOWED their own validity & accomplishment … don’t judge mates by status

    When one puts all these together, then the cowed/insecure condition FORCED INTO WOMEN, GLOBALLY, by male-bullying, becomes … planet-scale abomination-against-LivingPotential that G-D put in them, & male-culture obliterated, for … literally many-millenia.

    Now here’s the kicker:

    Go look at some images of dominatrixes…

    You’ll notice a spectacularly-improbable likelihood of there being jaquard wallpaper in their homes, with higher-class status-symbols repeating on it…

    That isn’t conscious.

    That is their unconscious projecting class-status-symbols throughout their homes, to comfort their unconscious, after having been bullied as class-nonvalid because of being female, all their lives.

    Once you see it, it’s impossible to unsee.

    All that class-climbing trappings, all the ornate class-declaration-“finery”: it’s all compensating for male-bullying throughout their entire lives…

    So, unconscious-mind’s profoundly simple, & projects, cleanly & openly, because throwing-symbols-around is how it comforts itself…

    It’s THAT simple in its “reasoning”.

    So, if you do that experiment, & see with your own eyes, the unconscious-throwing-class-status-symbols-around to-comfort-its-unconscious-symbol-EMBODIED-Kahneman1-feelings,

    & you understand that that imprint->reaction mechanism … which rejects thinking, which displaces thinking, is a real population-wide, species-wide force,

    & you begin understanding what Kahneman was saying, in his book,

    THEN it becomes clear that humankind actually is fighting-off considered-reasoning, killing it off, exterminating-it-from-world, so that imprint->reaction can be the ONLY mind ruling, & therefore animal-dominance, dominant-herd, bulling-wins-all, no-thinking, no-diversity, no-complexity, no-moral-anxiety CURRENTS that we’re now seeing take-over … are just the beginning of humankind’s species-equivalent-to-Puberty…

    Inescapable, fatal if indulged-in as a means of irresponsible-butchery ( technology multiplies puberty with “cars” & “guns”, it multiplies our species-equivalent with “biowar” & “armies” & “cyberwar”, equivalently ), & permanent.

    Humankind’s permanent choice, though…

    _ /\ _


  • I lament Nova’s demise, too…

    I think the reason that the tech companies won’t allow us to have our devices our own way ( Microsoft was doing this decades ago ), is “religious”/ideological, not practical:

    I think they “need” to keep everybody permanently in a headlock, with our heads all twisted, because only if we are all in permanent learned-helplessness, only then can they automatically get away with everything they intend to be getting away with, in our world.

    IOW, our autonomy violates their totalitarian religion, see?

    It’s the same as how ANY spirituality grates on Dawkins’ blood: he wants it all gutted/butchered/destroyed, & suicides of ones he destroyed are no problem for him, & no alternative ever can have any validity to him.

    Totalitarianism, whether traditionally “religious”, or in any other ideology/prejudice/religion, is the same: it HATES violation of its homogenous dominion.

    ( comically: homophobic-religions want a homogenous het humankind, with no violation of that homogeneity. The existence of homosexuals is too heterogenous for them )

    Autonomy is something that totalitarian supremacism ideology “needs” to obliterate from the whole world.

    Consistently.

    It seems to be a damn-good diagnostic for it, even!

    _ /\ _


  • Never count your chickens, before they hatch.

    Context ( global ) can change everything, in all kinds of ways.

    I hope Harris wins, hugely, but … “The Jezebel”'s cult

    ( see https://www.benjaminlcorey.com/could-american-evangelicals-spot-the-antichrist-heres-the-biblical-predictions/ for evidence that the label I used is Christian-bible based, ie accurate, according to their Book of Revelations )

    has promised civil war if they don’t win.

    I’ve been telling people for years that US Civil War Part2, as I now call it, is going to happen with Trump…

    ( the actual reason is that human unconscious-mind is rather like a 70 billion pound toddler, & it wants to beat God, to break God, to MAKE GOD OBEY, and the Tantrum/Pogrom that will break the world nearly to death, because the collective-unconscious’s toddler wasn’t catered-to enough … is going to take up the rest of this century.

    I expect the global everybody-going-at-everybody to begin in 2035 or 2036 or so.

    There’s a stage between now & then where the US Civil War butchers NATO, & the anti-NATO empires grab all of the world that they can.

    India, betting that Russia’s going to protect it from China, when Russia’s essentially a vassal-state of China, now, … India is hosed for that fight.

    Anyways, it’s just The Great Filter: no religion, Abrahamic or otherwise, is the origin of it, it’s just that when someone, including a world-species, reaches nuclear-capability without earning unconscious-mind-growing-up, then … that unconscious-toddler’s going to go RAMPAGING when global population-saturation-frustration becomes inescapable AND when food-insecurity becomes global/continual, AND when political tantrum/pogrom becomes a means of “getting even” with not being catered-to, AND when religious supremacism is doing the same thing, AND when ClimatePunctuation, which WE caused, is accelerating much faster, between Temperate-Planet & Hot-Planet, through the next decades.

    The kinds of predictions in that biblical stuff could have been dropped into any planet going into its Great Filter, the simultaneous terrestrial & marine food-chain-collapse ( Rev ), etc, the quakes ( rising sea-levels does that, as it alters the plate-techtonics pattern-of-stresses ), etc…

    But given humankind’s unconscious-toddler is the real ruler of our world, & it “needs” to “prove that god must obey” its ignorance’s authority…

    same as any narcissistic 2yo’s tantrum,

    humankind’s unconscious is going to MAKE the world break, to prove that the tantrum is the ruler, the “god”…

    Only problem is, that Universe isn’t going to cater to our racial-toddler…

    So, either we force our own race’s unconscious into growing up …

    … XOR …

    we earn extinguishment.

    Universe is honest, at least.

    Will the “myth” making of our unconscious, in its enacting of the biblical armageddon, succeed in breaking all life, to “prove” its “greatness”?

    Ask the toddlers who killed people with guns, in the US, if they “won”…

    https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/152/3/e2023061296/193711/Trends-and-Disparities-in-Firearm-Deaths-Among?autologincheck=redirected

    not the article on toddlers, that I wanted, but … illuminating-as-hell, unfortunately…

    nearly doubled in a few years, eh?

    Bah. )

    _ /\ _


  • Power-consumption.

    Also, the vibration produced by the 2.5" drives is less, but they’re more-sensitive to it, to begin with.

    I’d not even consider spinning-platter drives, nowadays, though:

    SATA SSD’s for a NAS strike me as being the sanest choice.

    Samsung what are those called, Evo drives?

    excellently-high MTBF, ultra-short ( compared with rotating-platters ) seek-time ( literally orders-of-magnitude quicker ), etc.

    I don’t know of ANY reason to go with spinning-platters, nowadays.

    ( & I’m saying that as a guy stupid-enough to have not realized this in time, & who spent money on such a thing, when SSD’s really were the answer )


  • Paragone@lemmy.worldtoAutism@lemmy.worldAutism rule
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    1 year ago
    1. Say what you actually mean.
    2. Mean what you actually say.

    For some reason those 2 rules are the OPPOSITE of how normals’ culture wires people to work.

    Normals’ rules are:

    1. Don’t say what you mean.
    2. Say what you don’t mean.

    It’s abuse, & needlessly exhausting.


    Gaslighting is just an exponential-amplification of normal-dishonesty.

    _ /\ _


  • USB-storage isn’t reliable.

    Period.

    ANY fscking thing that bumps any connection, can break the dam link.

    Then your kernel can re-label the device when it re-connects,

    and you’ve got to reassemble your RAID.

    just my experience.

    use ANY other method you can, other than USB.

    stick a SATA adaptor on there somewhere, if you can.

    Get a different motherboard.

    ANYthing, but not USB.



  • Paragone@lemmy.worldtoRelationship Advice@lemmy.worldDepressed Husband
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    1 year ago

    I was a manic-depressive, with a 2-4d up & 2-4 months down, cycle.

    I’ve experience with profound long-term depression: years & years of it.


    There is a mechanism in us that calibrates our brains to the amount, and kind, of light we’re immersed in.

    the Seasonal Affective Disorder treatment lights angage this mechanism.

    Our eyes contain rods ( black & white vision, night-vision, motion-sensing, etc ), cones ( gives us seeing of the yellow-blue contrast & the green-magenta contrast ) AND some pigmented-ganglia ( nerves, that was the term in what article I read years ago ) which reach back into one’s brain, which directly alter our state re depression.

    Those pigmented-ganglia are most-senitive to the color of a clear daytime sky.

    The more profound, & more long-term, the depression, the higher the light-threshold is, that has to be crossed, to get one’s brain-chemistry to change.

    If one does a simple series of experiments, with mixing “daylight” & “warm white” high-CRI ( color-rendition index ) bulbs, in some place small & bright like a bathroom, one can discover one’s threshold, in 1 of 2 ways.

    1. easiest, simply put sooo much bulbs in the room, that when one flicks them on, one feels the “kick” of one’s brain-chemistry changing ( others have replicated this experiment. I usually found that 150w or more of quartz-halogen light in a bathroom was required, but the “kick” was sooo distinct/clear, that they were instant believers in the mechanism ). I spent years having 500w of fluorescent AND 500w of quartz-halogen light in my main room, of the apartment I was living-in, and eventually my brainchemisty changed…

    2. use some kind of light-panel, with a dimmer & a switch, to discover how much light it takes to make one’s pupils shrink, then stop-shrinking ( 1st-shrinking is rods/cones, then pause, then 2nd-shrinking is the pigmented-ganglia mechanism ), and when the person’s pupils begin shrinking again, as one continues increasing the amount of light, that’s the threshold they need to cross. Now switch off the lights, while keeping that dimmer exactly where it is, let their brain stabilize for a half-minute, or so, then flick it on, & see if they feel the “kick”, or if you have to go a bit higher…

    You can use the light-sensor within your phone ( there are light-meter apps ) to give you a means of identifying if you’ve got enough light for that person’s discovered threshold.

    Also, I discovered that “alarm clocks” based on sound are destructive, and you need, instead, to put a pair of timers on lamps:

    have a “warm white” lamp come on 1st, & about 5mins later, then the “daylight” one.

    Light on one’s skin has been measured to affect one’s … is it melatonin? … that chemical having to do with sleep.

    The researchers who discovered that bit, were trying to prove it couldn’t, so they were shining light behind people’s knees, but it actually worked, so that nuked their intended-result/belief.


    Anyways, living in a light-box works against depression, and has much less side-effects than, say, Norpramin ( living zonked was its side-effect ), or lithium-carbonate, but one must cross one’s light-threshold, or it doesn’t work, and each person’s light-threshold is unique-to-their-current-condition.

    I’m an old bastard.

    Evidence has proven this trustworthy & solid.

    Please consider asking your husband to read it.

    ( it is too exhausting ( unrelated health-problems ) to even comment on a few posts per month, at the moment, so I don’t reply to replies … this year … sorry. )

    I hope this helps liberate a life from the inner-darkness.

    Salut, Namaste, & Kaizen, eh?

    _ /\ _


  • I’ve been screamed-at, in an office-lobby, by my supervisor, for not recognizing people by their faces.

    I’m face-blind, and only know that because of that series-of-incidents.

    I didn’t know, until my mid-30’s, that ANYBODY ANYWHERE could ever recognize people just by their faces.

    Absolutely stunning.

    I recognize people by their being where they’re supposed to be, the way they move, their voice, their clothing, all together, and usually I can recognize 'em, if I’ve seen 'em recently-enough.

    That normals can recognize people only by seeing a face??

    too weird.




  • AndroOffice, or whatever it’s called, is a port of LibreOffice to Android.

    It’s a little cumbersome ( use it on a big tablet, not on a little phone ), but it’s got the capability that nothing-else has.

    I agree with people who hate the UI, on mobile the desktop UI’s … not a wise choice…

    … but if you’re using a bluetooth keyboard, it’s much better.

    https://play.google.com/store/search?q=androoffice&c=apps

    If you want real spreadsheets, it seems the best option around.

    I’m presuming its Word equivalency is similar.

    I’ve tried multiple alternatives for spreadsheets, & for me, nothing else came close.

    Now, however, I think that using Julia programming, instead of spreadsheets, would make everything in the whole world work better.

    : P


  • Paragone@lemmy.worldtoSelfhosted@lemmy.worldCheap, but reliable SSDs?
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    1 year ago

    Reliability’s kinda high on my priority-list.

    Try Samsung.

    Nowadays I can’t imagine using SATA for anything but archival storage ( get the fastest NVMe you can for your operating-system, and be stunned by how much quicker your machine is ).

    Last time I was digging into stats, the reliability-rate for Samsung devices was much higher than that of Western Digital,

    and the off-brands … often are a bit of a bad-joke, for reliability ( Adata & Kingston, I’m looking at you, and will never trust such scum again ).


    just my experience/opinion, is all.



  • Having participated in many “charities”, you’d be a fool to believe an operation just because it is registered as a “not for profit”.

    Look at the executive-pay, and if it is over 2x the cost-of-living, you’re looking at a money-funneling-to-executives scam, that is masquerading as a not-for-profit.

    The amount of spine required to have real integrity, in this planet, is apparently greater than the amount of spine available in a human life?



  • SanDisk usb-keys work.

    You really want to use the thing for read-only, though, if you can:

    the writes it takes to kill some portion of a filesystem, vs the writes you get before corrupting things, on a USB driver, don’t line-up.

    Use NVMe as your 1st-choice for storage ( future purchases, obviously ), the fastest you can get, and be stunned by how much faster the same motherboard is, with superfast OS storage…


    I’d stick /home, not /usr, on the USB.


  • Paragone@lemmy.worldtoSelfhosted@lemmy.world*Permanently Deleted*
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    1 year ago

    IF JBOD, && Linux, THEN yes you can know, through SMARTTOOLS, or something like that…

    However, I can’t imagine how you’d get 2 separate PCIe

    ( presuming NVMe devices …

    … no, this thing must be presuming SATA, NOT NVMe …

    even in SATA, there’s no bifurcator for SATA, I don’t think:

    SAS has expanders, which can take a single SAS channel & attach something like 128 SAS devices onto it,

    PCIe has some kind of equivalent, and there is a PCIe card which crams loads of NVMe’s into it, out in the last year, but SATA??

    Hmm… )

    shrug


  • I have not read your previous posts, but am only offering a specific perspective for you to consider…

    There are 3 minds ( levels/substances )…

    • SurfaceMind, which dissolves ever few yours
    • underlying-LifeMind ( we make ours unconscious, but it can be conscious, too )
    • Soul/Continuum…

    These 3 minds each have their own interests.

    WHEN the interests of an unconscious-LifeMind contradict the interests of that LifeMind’s SurfaceMind, THEN damage is made to result.


    There is no way to prevent mistakes from being committed, by a mind who hasn’t earned their own experience-induced-understanding, yet.

    Irregardless of whether your current-choice was “right” or “wrong”, or whether his was, or whether anyone’s inaction was “right” or “wrong”, only through committing into one’s Eternity, & moving-on to one’s next lesson, CAN one continue engaging one’s own life-process, properly.

    Making oneself stuck, in order to protect past-habit, isn’t living.

    Maybe what I’m saying is inappropriate to your current moment ( I doubt that ), but it is important, and our culture pretty-much never says it.

    I’m not making any judgement on your action, or his, or whatever your shared past was, I’m only identifying a mechanism that is basic to evolving, to growing-up, and whether it is less or more pertinant now, or later, isn’t relevant: use the understanding, the perspective, when YOU find it appropriate, see?

    _ /\ _

    PS: the most important relationship-competencies are:

    • Gottman’s books
    • Logan, King, & Fischer-Wright’s book ( research-based ) “Tribal Leadership”, on the 5 levels of process, & how we are pushed into the lower 3 dysfunctional levels, & how to get ourselves up into the healthy 2 levels
    • Kegan & Lahey’s “Immunity to Change”, on our unconscious-mind’s fighting off of growing-up, adapting, surviving, in order to protect its already-established ignorance, and how to objectively dismantle our unconscious-mind’s sabotaging of our lives.

    To whomever reads this, who has the spiritual-liveliness to dig into those, you are changing your life to create life-agility in your life, when you invest in understanding those…

    Halvorson’s “The 8 Motivational Challenges” is also strongly recommended: simple, fundamental, & important.

    Salut, Namaste, & Kaizen, eh?

    _ /\ _