I know you do.

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AI bad. But also, video AI started with will Will Smith eating spaghetti just a couple years ago.

We keep talking about AI doing complex tasks right now and it’s limitations, then extrapolating its development linearly. It’s not linear and it’s not in one direction. It’s a exponential and rhizomatic process. Humans always over-estimate (ignoring hard limits) and under-estimate (thinking linearly) how these things go. With rocketships, with internet/social media, and now with AI.

In 5 years, Americans who fuck up while visiting Europe or Asia and get deported will have a meltdown thinking they’re being sent to Latin America.

I think I fall in the same camp of agreeing with a good chunk of his points while disagreeing with others and I even have laughed at many of his jokes. And I’m totally fine with that for people I enjoy watching. However, what turned me off of Bill Maher a decade ago was his overall manner and attitude. He just started coming across as arrogant, obnoxious, smarmy, and untimately unkind, even when I agreed with him, which I did not enjoy. It was much in contrast to other satirists who may have mocked people, never felt like they were out to denigrate. Maybe his content has changed, but I haven’t noticed.

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“You misunderstood my bigotry as hurtful.” Not “I understand my views were bigoted and therefore hurtful.”

Ahh that makes sense, your English is is very correct, just harder to tell with more reserved English speakers. Your situation is certainly very normal and not at all unique to younger folks!

I guess another pragmatic thing people do sometimes is, if they know they’re going to see someone they get weird about, they’ll leverage their refractory period so it’s less intense when they meet.

Ahh, I see. Pardon my assumption, but your phrasing does suggest to me that you might be younger/teenage–are teens on Lemmy now? Out of an abundance of caution, I’d recommend you try talking to someone a bit closer to you that you trust, like a counselor, older friend, or parent as this does get into a more sensitive topic. Talking to randoms on the internet can be helpful, but also very risky as it’s wild out here and there are all kinds of predators let alone bad advice. I don’t know what your life circumstance is and counselors/parents aren’t perfect either, but it’s usually a much safer starting place. Use your head, verify what you hear.

If you’re an adult, totally apologize. I hope you’d agree with with my caution.

As others have mentioned, there is clearly a communication breakdown. It’s probably not the only thing, but the key thing I see is a lack of communication about expectations.

It’s clear you care about this relationship because you’re experiencing a lot of hurt over his actions. And it’s clear you care about him as you’re doing things for him the way you like to be cared for. And under normal circumstances, sure this is one way to communicate expectations and develop reciprocation. Your feelings are totally understandable. His actions didn’t meet your expectations of caring for you and the relationship, and that feels like he doesn’t care or even feels like an attack on you, and it can feel unjust because you’re doing the things.

However, when you’re in a rough patch and arguing, it’s not the status quo anymore and expectations aren’t as clear. It can be confusing, especially when things are tense/fraught, to ask someone to do something and expect them to do something else. If he’s repeatedly not meeting expectations with what you assume he knows in the moment, then you might have to reconsider your assumption and re-communicate that.

So during fights, it might be more helpful to explicitly feel out each others’ expectations and wants at a base level on common things like special occasions. Which brings us to the other side. Understandably, you’re focuses on how you feel about it and your frustrations. It’s a frustrating situation with deep implications for a relationship that’s incredibly important to you. What we haven’t heard much about is what you know about his expectations and how he likes being cared for. Did you know what his expectations around Valentine’s were? For some people, acting like everything is normal and exchanging gifts right after a major fight can feel painfully disingenuous and forced. Do you know what his expectations were around your birthday?

This isn’t to call you out or anything, especially when you’re upset about the situation, but rather to point out a gap. If the goal is to reconcile and develop a resolution to the fraught situation, it has to start with mutual understanding of each others’ expectations and where both your feelings are coming from. This doesn’t mean immediately accepting blame or agreeing with the other’s justifications in the broader arguments. It just means creating the space for each other to be genuinely seen and heard.

From a cis/straight guy’s perspective, I used to find myself in this situation a regularly. I’ve found a good combination of pragmatic coping strategies and reframing the person is helpful. Others have mentioned common coping strategies like distraction and minimizing contact, but I find this alone doesn’t help set you up for healthy relationships because it only treats the person you’re infatuated with as the “forbidden/unworthy object of desire” rather than their own person. So a lot of the reframing I’d do was geared towards reframing then as anyone else that you’re not interested in pursuing, so things like “I’m not their person and they’re not my person”, “they’re not into me and that’s not hot”, “they’re a friend/sibling who has their own life, I’ll support them in theirs, but I should focus on mine”

It’s also always good to put yourself in their shoes. If you were in a relationship and knew someone who you’re not into was infatuated with you, how would you want them to act? I doubt you’d want them to pursue you or conversely treat you like toxic waste just to cope.

It’s infatuation, it will pass. Love must be mutual and is built over time.

TL;DR: As a guy, this usually ends up being a lot of “Don’t be a creep, just be fucking normal.”

In the same boat with the same CPU. The beast is running Cyberpunk 2077 fairly well at 1440p with a DLSS/ray tracing card but it can’t run Windows 11 🙄🙄🙄

Whoosh. They’re not mutually exclusive.

An analogy is a comparison. I was comparing a case of labeling something I see as obviously terrorism to a case of labeling something obviously killing. I wasn’t making a comparison to say Tesla is equivalent to OBL.

Sure we can debate the definition of terrorism, which I’m open to being wrong about. When you say “calculated” I understand that as premeditated with some thought towards planning the action. Hypothetically say we have someone who regularly carries a gun, and is walking around during Pride parade. Say he’s historically anti-queer/DEI, what ever stereotype. Say for whatever reason he gets angry enough, something’s happened and it’s the last straw and he wants to put an end to the leftist agenda and starts shooting at the crowds, while spouting his political ideology. It’s a caricature, but has all the hallmarks of a terrorist attack except on the point not being “calculated”, it’s a spur of the moment, unplanned attack. I’d still call that terrorism.

Another point though, I think many of the people who have been vandalizing Tesla did calculate their actions. Especially the arson cases must have involved some degree of thought/planning. And part of that thought is the political stance that Musk is wrong and billionaires like Musk should be afraid of the people.

I wasn’t comparing Tesla to Osama Bin Laden? I was making an analogy to clarify my point of calling an obvious spade a spade. Terrorism doesn’t have to be calculated, it just has to be politically motivated. I happen to agree with the political motivations and stance of the violence in this case. That doesn’t change what it is.

Well that’s my point, we should be arguing the legitimacy of the action, not whether or not it constitutes terrorism, which it obviously is.

Totally agree.

This is coming from someone who doesn’t necessarily disagree with burning down Tesla dealerships.

1. Define terrorism

2. Explain how burning down Tesla dealerships to resist Elon’s political takeover is not terrorism

I hate Elon and I don’t even disagree with targeting Tesla. But let’s be real. Mass targeted vandalism and especially arson are clearly forms of violence. The victims of this violence are civilians and the purpose of the violence is to achieve political goals through instilling fear.

Agree with the actions or not, that’s terrorism.

If people started targeting and burning down costcos for being woke/DEI, that would be terrorism for the exact same reason, not because the ideology is different.

People need to stop pussyfooting around the label and accept that words mean certain things. The issue is not whether or not it’s terrorism. The argument should be whether or not the actions are justifiable.

It’s like whinging about whether or not we say “Osama Bin Laden was killed” or if the person who shot him is a “killer” because killing in general is bad/wrong.

Now the government response of categorizing certain people vs others as terrorists matters. What it means for people resisting Trump matters. But those are different arguments.