But never anilingus 😔

Clearly needs a tie clip!

You’d love listening to the Behind the Bastards episodes they just did on RFK Jr then; I may hate him but he is a prank god.

Pretending to be run over then screaming “You just killed another Kennedy!” Or telling a cop that you have a bird in your jacket that’s trained to kill cops… before pulling out said bird and launching it at him. Some S-tier shit right there!

“I use Estrogen as my operating system,” I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. “Actually”, he says with a grin, "Estrogen is just the kernel. You use GNU+Estrogen!’ I don’t miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn’t include the GNU coreutils, or any other GNU code. It’s Estrogen, but it’s not GNU+Estrogen.

The smile quickly drops from the man’s face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams “I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT’S STILL GNU!” Coolly, I reply “If Testosterone was compiled With gcc, would that make it GNU?” I interrupt his response with “-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even you were correct, you wont be for long.”

With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man’s life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I’ve womansplained him to death.

Also, what about the shirt, why isn’t that itemized? And the mallard, why is his price not listed? Do they think I don’t want to buy him, or that I simply cannot afford such a fine waterfowl?

A protein is a tein that has lost its amateur status.

—Calvin

First Nations peoples?

…sorry, you really made this too easy, eh?

No, clearly this is Darwin finally admitting what we’ve known all along: the man is actually composed entirely of sentient clover and bees.

Kendrick: You’re a pedo, your son hates you, your mom raised a terrible kid, and you’ve got a secret daughter

Drake: tf? I don’t have a daughter

Saw them open for Fall Out Boy a couple months ago. Killer set list through-and-through, even though I knew very few of the songs. They still bring the heat!

Yep, and only costs the paltry sum of $50,000+/yr. for unlimited credits and Plus Pro Max features! Honestly, a steal!

^…fuck ESRI…

Maybe they don’t swallow?

Waiting on BP to bravely introduce the concept of an ass-gas footprint

He was Parks Commissioner. Did everything in his power to not build parks in Harlem. Known for giving personal touches to parks that reflected the character of the neighborhoods they were in. When he built Riverside Park, the point of the park closest to Harlem was monkey themed.

“our rather special find is indeed the ‘missing lynx’ in this story,” Bartosiewicz said.

Oh, you!

That’s what I’m thinking. The lynx took down those dogs before finally being overpowered, and the dogs’ handler(s) buried them all together to show respect for the impressive fight that the lynx put up.

Mournful tits!

Okay, Éowyn…

constn’t

… No, sorry. The world building has such a great potential, but it’s clear that they had no direction after Monty’s death, and there are just so many random plot lines that they try to make stick, and then just never reference again. If it was just incidental stuff it might be possible to overlook, but it’s very foundational elements to the narrative that they just drop for no apparent reason.