

“The building or someone is on fire”
When I was working in property management, certain people would frequently call me in the middle of the night for what they considered emergencies. They’d wake me up because a stove burner wouldn’t heat, or a lightbulb was out, or they just remembered that a door creaks. This shit got old real fast, so I began training the night callers that “emergency means Fire, Flood, or Death”.
One man was unfazed by my Fire, Flood, or Death mantra, so every time I saw his number ring in, I just shouted into the phone FIRE FLOOD OR DEATH? FIRE FLOOD OR DEATH?!
Hey this is good news, everyone! See, when USers gather to protest the absence of a 2028 free and fair election, and Pope Daddy has them Tiananmen Squared, the families of the squished will get 5 million oopsie bucks because precedent!
https://www.brennancenter.org/our-work/research-reports/how-federal-government-undermining-election-security