I’ve never had a two months delay, but government offices are typically understanding about getting something at or a little past the due date because everyone knows the mail sucks.

Good thing his totally not creepy boy harem was recruited just out of high school.

I’ll have you know the proctology exam is a “task-based” exam that you administer to yourself on a shared google doc and webcam, and I scored fist out of elbow.

Insurance companies LOVE this one trick!

“I mean, we’ve set the deal. It’s at 50 percent,” he said at the White House.

Just not now. But we totally have a deal. 50% or we walk. In a month or two. Maybe longer. 50%, folks.

It really depends on how good your psychiatrist is. If they have a lot of knowledge on how the meds work and know the chemistry of why the dexamphetamines aren’t for you, they can absolutely steer you to a better solution. You should mention that vyvanse was a bad experience when you see your provider and give details of why. Good luck!

Temporary pain to own the libs, hoss

Why don’t you just make 10 louder?

Take a drink for every f-35 that gets destroyed. And take a drink for every f-35 that isn’t!

And I feel “constrained” by a lack of subprime lending, let’s bring that shit back too.

Only took two tries to guess “BigBalls1488”

I thought the joke was always that he’d get the numbers to 8,008,135

I think of Trump more in terms of this Hunter S. Thompson quote about Nixon:

He neither drinks nor smokes, they say, and bars make him nervous. Humphrey Bogart would have taken a dim view of Nixon. It was Bogart who said, “You can’t trust a man who doesn’t drink.” And it was Raoul Duke who said, “I’d never buy a used car from Nixon unless he was drunk.”

Yeah there was a minute where my urologist’s office — against their will, I am sure — had big-ass screens on the walls of exam rooms and they were brighter than the sun. They were gone within a month.

Free markets? In this economy?

“Yeah I’m rolling down Rodeo with a shotgun / we ain’t seen a brown skinned man since our country club banned one”

It’s incredible just how dumb he is. Like, dude, just throw daddy’s blood money at these startups and let them do their thing. But no, he has to get involved for ego reasons and absolutely wrecks them in the cringiest way possible.

Like if Vin Diesel’s right nut were left outside on a moderately breezy day

I’m personally rooting for “sucked into an escalator”

TurboTax and their lobbyists can go suck a railroad spike.