Five days ago, drag was banned from [email protected] for using neopronouns. A comment explaining dragās pronouns, and a comment saying ādragā isnāt a nickname, were removed with the reason ātrollingā. Drag understands why someone would think that using different pronouns than most people is trolling - transphobia. However, drag is confused how on earth not liking a nickname is a violation of any rules anywhere.
Context of the removed comments:
Drag would like to pre-empt any further accusations of trolling by asking a question: If drag were a right wing troll, and you chose to freely accept dragās pronouns, wouldnāt that completely neuter the trolling attempt? Trolling is about trying to make others upset. You donāt have to get upset when someone uses unusual pronouns. If you arenāt transphobic, then itās impossible to troll you that way. And drag promises: drag wants you to not be transphobic. Drag is not trying to upset anyone. If you do what drag wants you to do, then you get what you want too. This is a non-issue, thereās only a problem if you want there to be.
EDIT: DRAG DID NOT TELL ANYBODY TO USE DRAGāS PREFERRED PRONOUNS.
Part of what might make people think youāre trolling is that you seem to use ādragā as a first person neopronoun but conjugate your verbs as if it were third person.
To someone who hasnāt seen this before, interpreting it as if you use a nickname to talk about yourself in third person would be the only thing that makes grammatical sense.
Edit: this reminds me a bit of https://www.xkcd.com/169/ - you donāt come across as smug, but youāre definitely not communicating well
No, people are very used to conjugating pronouns in a way that doesnāt match their grammatical preconceptions. Take the pronoun ātheyā. A lot of people complain about they/them because they say it canāt be used in the singular. What they mean is, they find it difficult to conjugate properly.
āI need to talk to Sam before they go to the storeā
āI need to talk to Sam before they goes to the storeā
The second sentence here is conjugated the same way as he or she, but it sounds wrong to us. In order to use they/them pronouns on the regular, we all had to learn that conjugation doesnāt depend on the grammatical form of the reference, but instead on the specific pronoun. āTheyā is conjugated differently not because itās a plural, but because itās ātheyā.
People who have a problem with the conjugation of dragās pronouns simply failed to think carefully about this fact. Theyāre having the singular they debate all over again, because they didnāt change their understanding of pronouns after they had this debate the first time. Well drag doesnāt want to have that debate all over again. Drag doesnāt think dragās existence should lead to any sort of debate. Drag thinks people should just accept new ideas without having to be argued into accepting them. But for some reason, a lot of people see drag, and they want to be argued with.
First/second person neopronouns are not like singular they because they havenāt been used for centuries already. Always using plural forms with ātheyā is something that English speakers learn before formally learning what a plural is (thatās why āI need to talk to Sam before they goes to the storeā sounds wrong even to someone in primary school), but idiosyncratic redefinitions of grammar will always sound wrong to people who arenāt used to them.
If your goal is to communicate effectively, you should avoid insisting on what can be easily (mis)interpreted as performative. If it isnāt, then complaining about being misunderstood is trolling.
Drag has neither insisted anyone use dragās pronouns, nor complained about being misunderstood. It seems like the scenario youāre describing as a problem hasnāt happened. Is this intended to be a warning for the future?
āDrag is not using third personā may not be intended to be a complaint, but wouldnāt you say that someone who parses the sentence as you using third person misunderstands it?
Theyāre going to learn better eventually. Itās just a matter of how many chances they get to be respectful before they decide to stop being stubborn and mean. Drag believes that anyone will improve if theyāre given enough chances. Drag is telling them the truth without judgement, and waiting to see what they choose to do with it. A lot of people have already chosen to accept the truth and stop being angry over nothing. As time goes on, the share of people who are choosing not to pick pointless fights will rise. And then the people who are still mad will get downvoted and reported and moderated, and theyāll have to give up on being stubborn. Drag is choosing patience because drag can see that future down the road. Drag doesnāt need to complain in order for that future to happen.
The problem with that approach is that is is the truth from your perspective only, and nobody is going to learn better if your āexplanationsā just amount to āyouāre wrongā. From most peopleās perspective, this is indistinguishable from trolling and I donāt think comments like this or this are going to convince them otherwise - someone who deliberately uses language in a very uncommon way should probably not justify it with a dictionary.
Drag believes very strongly in language. Thatās why drag changes language; drag cares about it and wants to improve it. Itās like the hot rodders who love their cars and are always improving them. Or the programmers who contribute to the open source projects they love. Drag thinks drag knows a lot about language, and drag sure likes spending long hours thinking about how language works. You might say linguistics is a hobby to drag. And drag isnāt the kind of hobbyist who only studies and never tinkers.
Youāre not improving language youāre making yourself look foolish and self aggrandizing