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tromars@feddit.de to Programmer Humor@lemmy.ml · 2 years ago

Ideas for programming rizz?

i.imgur.com

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Ideas for programming rizz?

i.imgur.com

tromars@feddit.de to Programmer Humor@lemmy.ml · 2 years ago
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  • Caveman@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    I forked an opensource project to add a couple features for my wife. 😊

    • some_designer_dude@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      And? Did she accept your, err, pull request? 😏

      • Caveman@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        “LGTM, merged” 😏

        • dukk@programming.dev
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          2 years ago

          Remember kids, always use protected branches.

          • dodslaser@feddit.nu
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            2 years ago

            Pushing directly to main just feels better.

            • doppelgangmember@lemmy.world
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              2 years ago

              I prefer “master”

          • lseif@sopuli.xyz
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            2 years ago

            and remember, no means no. if git doesnt want you to merge, dont --force it

            • Quik@infosec.pub
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              2 years ago

              *dont --force it, you mean.

              • lseif@sopuli.xyz
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                2 years ago

                is that not what i said ?

        • mac@lemm.ee
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          2 years ago

          😂

        • doppelgangmember@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          Divorce be like, merge conflict, divergent branch…

          Lol

    • Apathy Tree@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 years ago

      This is the kind of love I need in life 💜

      So cute! And practical!

    • agent_flounder@lemmy.one
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      2 years ago

      For half a second I read this as “to add a couple of features to my wife”

      • The Ramen Dutchman@ttrpg.network
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        2 years ago

        Plankton, from Spongebob, would.

    • Caboose12000@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      this is actually cute as hell

    • lemonadebunny@lemmy.ca
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      аҧсуа бызшәа
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      2 years ago

      Well, where’s the fork?

    • MajorHavoc@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      That’s true love.

    • jelloeater@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      That is so wholesome ❤️

    • mryessir@lemmy.sdf.org
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      2 years ago

      Are you One of the holy masters mentioned on the credits page yet?

      *lowershisleftknee*

  • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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    2 years ago

    “Girl, I named no variables after you, because you’re my only Constant”

    • bob_wiley@lemmy.world
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      deleted by creator

      • JuxtaposedJaguar@lemmy.ml
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        2 years ago

        Because you’re generic and everyone’s initialized you at some point

        • _g_be@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          Everybody’s init? Sounds just like her

    • (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻@programming.dev
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      2 years ago

      smooth 👍

    • Supertramper@feddit.de
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      2 years ago

      You’ll need an exception handler for all those dropping panties.

    • TerryTPlatypus@beehaw.org
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      2 years ago

      “Girl, you are my Two’s Complement, you’re always my plus one on any occaision”

      Cuz if you invert the bits of of a binary number and add one you get its negative number, so your girlfried is an equal part of you

      • agent_flounder@lemmy.one
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        2 years ago

        Damn son save some for the rest of us.

    • fkn@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Sadly only the compiler will know the true value of my constexpr forLove;

  • geekworking@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    You can also combine your names into a Linux distribution.

    Deb + Ian = Debian.

    • SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml
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      2 years ago

      I bet they’ve broken up since

      • MrothersInArms@lemmy.zip
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        2 years ago

        The word “Debian” was formed as a portmanteau of the first name of his then-girlfriend (later ex-wife) Debra Lynn and his own first name

        Wiki

        • SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml
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          Debra must be so pissed by now

          • hansl@lemmy.ml
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            “I’m sorry you merged WHAT upstream? No I don’t care if there’s a new glibc out there, the one we have works just fine.”

            • 𝘋𝘪𝘳𝘬@lemmy.ml
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              2 years ago

              This explains a lot.

        • mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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          2 years ago

          “Later ex-wife” is like three tenses of information at once.

          • Brahm1nmam@lemmy.sdf.org
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            2 years ago

            Peak efficiency

      • andrew@lemmy.stuart.fun
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        2 years ago

        Had tons of kids though. Have you met the buntu family?

    • Stefen Auris@pawb.social
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      2 years ago

      Literally came here to say this lol

  • naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 years ago

    I was thinking about you when I cleaned up this codebase and removed a lot of redundant functions.

    • float@feddit.de
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      2 years ago

      That sounds more like breaking up.

      • QuazarOmega@lemy.lol
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        2 years ago

        The employee that left the mess was already long gone unfortunately

      • Llewellyn@lemm.ee
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        2 years ago

        DuH

  • Jtskywalker@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    I made a website for my wife with a list of a ton of reasons why I love her and each time she taps the screen it shows a new one.

    So… that is a thing you can do for the cost of a domain name and some cheap hosting.

    • wviana@lemmy.eco.br
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      How many reasons did you code into it?

      • Jtskywalker@lemm.ee
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        I don’t know, I’d have to check the database. I add to it every once in a while so it keeps growing. I think I started with around 20 or so

        • sic_1@feddit.de
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          2 years ago

          Aw man that’s so cute! Great idea, hope she appreciates it.

        • SnowBunting@lemmy.ml
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          2 years ago

          Do you check the list to make sure there aren’t any repeats?

          • QuazarOmega@lemy.lol
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            2 years ago

            Me when
            When I fail my DSA course

          • NewAgeOldPerson@reddthat.com
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            2 years ago

            Ask an artist that

          • Jtskywalker@lemm.ee
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            2 years ago

            Yeah, just manually

        • etler@programming.dev
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          deleted by creator

  • saltesc@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    I send my wife code she has nfi idea about but knows I’m proud so she pretends to be impressed.

    I win her heart over by making life much easier through technology and handling all that shit. When she can grab a PS4 controller, hit start, and sit on the couch, she knows not all ladies get their TV and sound system on, all inputs adjusted, game mode set, and Nintendo Switch home screen come up ready to launch Zelda.

    “Babe, I could IFTTT the lights to drop to a gaming atmosphere and have your phone go into DND mode if you want. Just let me know.”

    SPLOOOOOOSH

    • ObliviousEnlightenment@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      I am jealous of your wife

      • Redredme@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Mine isn’t impressed with stuff like that. It’s been like that since we’re together. It’s the normal.

        These days she just rolls her eyes when another new thing gets automated.

        • no banana@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          Just take it away for a week.

        • Comment105@lemm.eeBanned from community
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          2 years ago

          Makes me wonder if one of you are a smooth operator while the other is the captain of the jank tank.

  • stephfinitely@artemis.camp
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    2 years ago

    This person misunderstands a beautiful function code can be very sexy or maybe I’m a odd girl.

    • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.org
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      var LogicGate = map[string]string{
          "OR": "OR",
          "AND":  "AND",
          "NOT": "NOT",
          "NOR": "NOR",
          "NAND": "NOR",
          "XOR": "XOR",
      }
      
      func isLogicGate(inString string) (bool) {
          _, ok := LogicGate[strings.ToUpper(inString)]
          if ok {
              return true
          } else {
              return false
          }
      }
      
      func stringAsGateLogic(inString string) (bool, error) {
          inSplit := strings.Split(inString, " ")
          var phrase1 strings.Builder
          var phrase2 stringa.Builder
          var gateString string
          for word := range inSplit {
              if isLogicGate(word) {
                  if len(gateString) < 1{
                      gateString = word
                  } else {
                      phrase2.WriteString(word)
                  }
              } else {
                  if len(gateString) < 1{
                      phrase1.WriteString(word)
                  } else {
                      phrase2.WriteString(word)
                  }
              }
          }
          boolPhrase1 := bool(phrase1.String())
          boolPhrase2 := bool(phrase2.String())
          switch strings.ToUpper(gateString) {
              case "OR":
                  return (boolPhrase1 || boolPhrase2), nil
              case "AND":
                  return (boolPhrase1 && boolPhrase2), nil
              case "NOT":
                  return (!boolPhrase2), nil
              case "NOR":
                  return (!(boolPhrase1 || boolPhrase2)), nil
              case "NAND":
                  return (!(boolPhrase1 && boolPhrase2)
              case "XOR":
                  orRes := (boolPhrase1 || boolPhrase2)
                  nandRes := (!(boolPhrase1 && boolPhrase2))
                  return (orRes && nandRes), nil
              default:
                  return false, fmt.Errorf("Why you do dis?: %v", inString)
          }
      }
      
      func main(){
          answer, err := stringAsGateLogic ("This person misunderstands a beautiful function code can be very sexy or maybe I'm a odd girl.")
          if err != nil {
              fmt.Println(err)
          }
          fmt.Println(answer)
      }
      
      • deegeese@sopuli.xyz
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        2 years ago

        Sorry, Hungarian notation is not beautiful.

        • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.org
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          Fair.

      • qaz@lemmy.world
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        if ok {
            return true
        } else {
            return false
        }
        

        Why?

        • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.org
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          Idiomatic Go way of checking for the presence of a key in a map.

      • QuazarOmega@lemy.lol
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        You make want to cry, when are we marrying?

        I want a divorce

        • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.org
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          Sorry, merge conflict :(

      • wallmenis@lemmy.one
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        2 years ago

        isLogicGate is not used. Maybe you mean to place it in “isGate” in the stringAsGateLogic for loop’s if statement?

        • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.org
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          Thank you. That’s what I get for writing a drawn-out shitpost program on my phone over several hours while away from home, instead of in a few minutes in vim.

          • AVincentInSpace@pawb.social
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            Speaking of, Vim is actually quite easy to set up on Android. Simply download Termux from F-Droid (the version of Termux on Google Play is severely out of date) and pkg install vim (or nvim if you prefer). (Also, full aarch64 linux terminal on non-rooted Android, woo!) Using Vim with an onscreen keyboard is agonizing, of course, but it does work (Termux provides the Ctrl and Esc keys). The F-Droid app Unexpected Keyboard is a recommended addition – it’s an alternative on-screen keyboard with no predictive text and swiping to the corners of each key for alternate symbols. It makes using Vim on a touchscreen at least moderately less painful.

    • AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net
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      From one odd girl to another, I think both can be true

  • efrique@lemm.ee
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    git branch testing.stephanie.slept.with.my.friend.brad

    • SpaceCowboy@lemmy.caBanned from community
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      Pull request rejected.

      • _bug0ut@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Pull off request, on the other hand (ha-HA!), approved.

        Not like that bitch Stephanie is gonna be helping out with that anymore.

      • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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        Man, I’ve never seen such a rapid succession of git pull and git push

  • halvar@lemm.ee
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    Name a linux distro after her and yourself. Always works.

    • heliosef@lemmy.world
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      Found the Hannah Montana user

    • supert@lemmy.sdfeu.org
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      2 years ago

      I also thought of Debian.

    • Qyuzu@lemdro.id
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      Or a Linux Mint a version if he is a main contributor.

  • moog@lemm.ee
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    Sure, but at least they won’t be afraid of commitment.

    • polite_cat@lemmy.world
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      It’s gonna be awkward though if there is a merge conflict 👀

  • cyberic@discuss.tchncs.de
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    Image Transcription: Twitter Post

    bass boosted ACAB @lil_morgy

    hooking up with artists is hot cuz theyll be like “i thought of you when i wrote this song”. what are tech guys gonna do? name a git branch after you? the fuck

    [* I am a human volunteer and you could be too ❤️*]

    • TheGreenGolem@lemm.ee
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      Good human!

    • AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net
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      Do you know if there’s a place where image transcribers on Lemmy are congregating, or are you just doing this independently?

      • cyberic@discuss.tchncs.de
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        We started a Community https://discuss.tchncs.de/c/transcribersoflemmy. But we’re small and helping out as we can.

        • CommunityLinkFixerBot@lemmings.worldB
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          Hi there! Looks like you linked to a Lemmy community using a URL instead of its name, which doesn’t work well for people on different instances. Try fixing it like this: !transcribersoflemmy@discuss.tchncs.de

    • tromars@feddit.deOP
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      I knew I forgot something when posting, thank you! Good human

  • bear_with_a_hammer@lemm.ee
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    deleted by creator

    • snowe@programming.dev
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      Turns out Lisa has a crippling bug that bricks your computer.

      • R0cket_M00se@lemmy.world
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        Why do you think I named it after that bitch! Lol

  • neuracnu@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    “The two hardest problems in programming are cache invalidation, naming things and off-by-one errors.”

    • Rikudou_Sage@lemmings.world
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      The original have been quite great even without adding the bit about off-by-one errors.

  • Nsh@lemmy.ca
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    The creator of MySQL, MaxDB and MariaDB named them after his children My, Max and Maria, so why not

    • dan@upvote.au
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      after his children My

      I thought you were kidding, but his daughter is actually named “My”.

      • The Ramen Dutchman@ttrpg.network
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        It helps that it’s a name in another language (Finnish), where “my” isn’t a word, at all.

    • thank_me_its_friday@feddit.de
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      Then what’s about MongoDB?

      • WindInTrees@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Hi, it’s me, Mongo.

    • cheery_coffee@lemmy.ca
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      Here I was thinking the creators of MySQL learned from online tutorials and thought classes needed to start with “My” if they weren’t in the standard library.

  • zeekaran@sopuli.xyz
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    2 years ago

    I wrote an automation specifically for my partner to unlock the front door when they arrive home.

    Also we got a sexy time button.

    Home Assistant is a path to what many would consider… Unnatural.

    • Zikeji@programming.dev
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      I don’t have a partner and have no clue how I would update it for two, but when I start sleep tracking on my phone it turns off all my lights and turns up the fan. Opposite for waking up / alarm. It’s so nice.

      • zeekaran@sopuli.xyz
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        2 years ago

        Could set up pressure sensors for the bed, or only turn on sleep tracking when you’re both ready to sleep.

      • no banana@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        I need that in my life some day

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